Playstation All-Stars: May Freedom Reign
by Coleiosis
Summary: Ratchet is not the hero he once was. With a drinking addiction, Ratchet is unaware that the villain Sweet Tooth is at it with a terrible plot to dominate mankind. Will Ratchet get put back on his feet, face his demons, and save the world? Rated T for scary situations, drug reference, and violence


Playstation All-Stars

May Freedom Reign

**NOTE: The (*) symbol means that a new scene has begun. The (*) symbol twice means the end of a scene. Have fun!**

*As Nathan Drake hung from his chains in his dark and cold prison cell, he grew angry and upset at the man who did this to him. He hung there, freezing from the bitter cool air that flew in from the hall of prison cells and pelted onto his head.

In the other room, Nathan heard such bitter laughter and celebration. Two men were ripping open their suitcases and pouring out the money that they had already earned for capturing Nathan, and later they would open up an auction and sell him to earn more money.

"We are so rich," one of the men said. Nathan could already make out who it was that said that. And whoever it was, Nathan really hated him.

"Stay here and count the rest of the money, while I go make arrangements," the man said. Nathan heard a door open, and saw a silhouette of the hated man walking through a dark hall of prison cells.

One day, Nathan thought, I shall eliminate you! And you shall suffer through pain that shall engulf you until you finally surrender!

Then he stopped himself. He felt as though a veil had lifted from him. Then he thought: What the heck?! What am I doing?! I'm a good guy, for crying out loud! Why am I thinking of such cruel things?! The only thing I should be worried about is getting out of this cold, dark, and damp place.

So there he hung, trying to think of some way to escape from the cold bitterness that surrounded his body and mind. One day, he would break free of this living prison. One day, very, very soon.**

*Meanwhile, on the planet Veldin, a lonely bar stood in a dusty street. Inside, there was a counter with many stools surrounding it; and on one of them sat Raiden looking at the seat at his left. There sat the Lombax agent Ratchet, looking as if he was falling asleep and passing out from horrid nightmares. Raiden felt like he had had enough of this night that was looming over the planet. He turned to the bartender, Solid Snake, and questioned him about where the heck he was all this time.

"It was nothing. All I was basically doing was shooting down robots and fighting some disgusting weirdoes. But it all wasn't that bad, actually. I did meet some cute chicks and helped someone get to his real home," Snake said.

Raiden came in: "Listen, dude: I did not want only a summary. But it seems to be getting late, so you can tell me all the bloody details tomorrow."

"And don't even let me get started with the wet-behind-the-ears mad scientist."

"I'll be all ears when you tell me about HIM. But right now, I need to get 'Mr. Dizzy' back home where he can pass out."

Raiden got up from his seat and picked up Ratchet onto his shoulder.

"Hey buddy. You got a problem," said Raiden.

"Perhaps the bar… was too stuffy." Ratchet tried to reply, and he could not stay awake. Everything around him looked like it was spinning, and his head hurt to the highest degree.

"Bar! Bunk! This has to be some kind of hoax," Raiden teased.

"I'm getting lots of hoaxes already."

"So dat. Come on, Sly! We're going back!" Raiden called to Sly Cooper, a grey raccoon with a night mask and an old-time thief hat. He may have been a thief, but he was only helping Raiden on this particular day.

They walked out of the bar and into the dark night, no stars in the sky. Raiden's shoulder did hurt while he was carrying Ratchet to their hideout.

The hideout was a very small mini-house with only one room. And in that room, there were only two bunk-beds (one on each side of the room) and a small table in the center of the room with four chairs sitting by it. It was not much, actually. But at least there were enough windows to see the glorious outside view, the view throughout the planet Veldin where the hideout was placed.

Once they got there, Clank was already waiting for their return, but he thought that seeing Ratchet all dizzy was not a very pretty sight. Raiden put Ratchet on his sleeping mat and walked out into the hall to talk with Sly.

"Good heavens," Clank said in surprise. He may be a robot, but he, too, has feelings. "What the heck have you been up to? Have you been drinking too much lately?"

Ratchet looked up at Clank and gave him a piece of his mind: "Look, Clank. I was just overwhelmed by all the adventures that we've both been through. But I felt that there was still something missing: I still have not met my father after all the years of my life. Tonight, I saw a bottle with my father's name on it. I never knew that they would make such a thing named after my father. I never really saw him. I tried out the drink, and guess what? A picture of my father appeared in my head. I shouldn't have drunk the whole thing down, because after a while, I started getting all dizzy, and that image started to hate me!"

"See? That is what you get for trusting the bottle. You may think that it would lead to a better life, but oh no, no. That is no way to handle your life. Drinking too much is like turning yourself into a worm and burying yourself in the dirt, away from the friends who care about you. All you have to do is look up, and dream of the day of when you would crawl out of the dirt and back onto the world of men."

"That sounds reasonable," Ratchet replied. "It always feels good to look up and see such beautiful things floating in the sky."

"Right. It feels much better that way. It brings such good memories to us. Your father does not hate you at all. He sent you away to evacuate and bring you to safety."

Clank shifted himself to shut down. Ratchet looked up out the window and saw that the stars were starting to come out. He saw such a peaceful sight of the night sky, also seeing that the moon was up there. It seemed like for the first time, he had such a peaceful night. He started getting drowsy about the beautiful view, and went to sleep slowly. It may have been much better this way, in the point of view of the Lombax who used to blow planets up and use so much explosive weapons.**

*Throughout the cosmos of space, a white and pink ship was flying through the stars, about ready to land at Ratchet's home planet, Veldin. Along the way, he sang a "Lord of the Rings" rip-off song:

Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go

To heal my heart and drown my woe.

Rain may fall and wind may blow,

And many miles be still to go,

But under a tall tree I will lie,

And let the clouds go sailing by.

"Phooey," said the pilot of the ship, who is actually the man who left the prison hall. "I liked the first part of the song much better! The other part is for sissies!" Would he be speaking of Ratchet, who would only chant the other part of the song?**

*The next morning, Ratchet felt refreshed at last. He felt so good when waking up, and looked up at the sky. Up there, he saw such pretty clouds that slowly moved to the left. Ratchet had to look away once the sun made its appearance in the scenery. He went out of the hideout and stepped outside into the great nature. He walked through the grounds of Veldin and saw the creatures in the waters that flowed slowly through the reef.

Clank walked outside and saw what Ratchet was doing. He was impressed with how he handled life now, and knew that Ratchet may have finally come out of the dirt and onto the world of freedom. He quickly went over to Ratchet and shared a cheerful heart with him.

"So," Clank said. "I see you are enjoying this peaceful day."

"You better know it," replied Ratchet. "I've never felt this good in my life!"

"Now you know what it's like to be free, eh?"

"It all feels so smooth and calm. And by the way, I think you made the greatest speech last night."

"Well, not necessarily a speech; but it's an excellent message that reached your mind, eh?"

"You bet your heart, man!"

"If only I had a heart; but at least I got powering circuits that tingle with happiness."

Right then, a mysterious ice cream truck slowly drove through the streets of Veldin, with simple-tuned music playing on the loudspeaker placed on top of the truck.

"Say Clank," Ratchet said after spotting the ice cream truck. "You want to go with me and we'll cool off? I promise you I'll order some robot microchips for you."

"Well, I suppose so," Clank replied.

Ratchet and Clank went to the side of the road, and the ice cream truck stopped at where they were. Through the window, a voice spoke, but it came from the freezer part of the truck where all the frozen desserts were kept. The vendor did not reveal himself just yet.

"What can I get for the both of you," the vendor's voice asked.

Ratchet placed his order: "I'll take two scoops of high-fiber ice cream with Brussels sprouts and sprinkles."

"Granted!" The man moved back into the truck and started making a digging noise. Ratchet and Clank did not know why the "ice cream vendor" said something fancy like that. But the worst that came happened when they were handed their ice cream. Ratchet paid the money and was about to take a lick of his ice cream until he heard a strange, quiet noise. The only thing Clank was wondering about was why the ice cream truck was still there in front of him and Ratchet; it seems as if the vendor wanted to stay and watch them die from a sudden attack.

Ratchet put his head closer to his ice cream and heard a soft hissing sound coming from it. He then recognized it as the hissing of sparkling fire running down a string to cause the explosion of a bomb.

"LOOK OUT!" Ratchet threw the "ice cream" into the air and let it explode. It was indeed a trap for killing. "What is the matter with you?! Are you trying to get us killed?!" Ratchet never knew what was going on until the "vendor" revealed himself.

The guy inside the truck pulled a few switches and pressed a few buttons, and the ice cream truck began to change. Machine guns came out from both side edges of the truck's hood, and a fake clown head came sticking out of the top of the truck. The fake clown head had such a devilish grin and angry eyes. An evil laughter came pouring in to the scenery as the truck started shooting around with the machine guns.

Ratchet and Clank had to dodge through every which way to avoid being shot to the death. The situation worsened once the truck started shooting out explosive ice cream with devilish laughing being heard throughout every shooting.

"You know NOTHING about my doing, young fool," the "vendor" said, changing his voice to a hissy evildoer's scream. He climbed to the top of his truck and stood there with his full front showing. "I am no more than a living weapon of destruction! I am no more than an expert saboteur! I AM NO MORE THAN NEEDLES KANE!"

Ratchet looked up at Needles and easily recognized him. "It's you! SWEET TOOTH!"

"Why so surprised," asked Sweet Tooth. "Was it not my intention to come here along the way to my destination?" Yes indeed it was Sweet Tooth, the most evil of all killer clowns in the galaxy. He was the man who walked through the hall of prison cells and piloted the pink-and-white spaceship. He then thought: About what Clank said last night, I actually did become a worm in the ground and turned back into a man LITERALLY!

"You should know better," Ratchet complained, "than to step foot on my planet! This is a land of freedom and prosperity! We'll never surrender to you, no matter how you threaten us!"

Clank was impressed with Ratchet's saying. "Atta boy, Ratchet! Don't let him get to you!"

"Hmph!" Sweet Tooth sneered at Clank. He was not impressed with his doing, encouraging Ratchet to overcome evil with good. "Such robots can be really stupid sometimes! But you should see MY robots. They are the cleverest Sweet Bots that you shall ever see. They are experts at destruction and tearing cities down! They are just like me. Unlike you, Clank, you are nothing but a stupid actor and a worthless backpack! But I am not here to talk about you! I should be on my way to make some agreements with someone. Farewell, suckers!"

Sweet Tooth got back into his truck, turned on the engines with high-powered spaceship rocket power, and soared off out of Veldin. "You were better off drinking," he muttered as he zoomed out of the planet.

"So," Ratchet said, "he still wants me to stick with the bottle. Well, no more! I'm tired of being a slave to drunkenness. It's about time that I took my life to a whole new level!"

"You're doing quite fine avoiding the bottle. But make sure that you don't overdo what you say for having a new life," Clank pointed out.

"Sorry. I'm just trying hard to only get used to it."

From where Sweet Tooth had taken off, a flyer was left on the ground. Ratchet picked it up and tried to read it, but it was too dirty and scratched-up.

"I can't read it. It's too scribbled-out," Ratchet said, holding the paper in positions to try and read it.

"Perhaps I can analyze it," Clank said as he was given the flyer. He used his super-analyzing scanner and viewed the paper through infra-red light. Light beams shone from his photoreceptor eyes as he tried analyzing the scratched-up words. "It reads: 'Super Auction today! Come buy the most valuable items at affordable prices! You can't lose anything!' The bottom of the flyer has the initials 'S.T.' on it."

Ratchet thought for a second. "'S.T.' are the initials of Sweet Tooth's alias name. HE must be the one behind the auction! And also, if you think about it, 'S.T.' are also the initials for 'Star Trek.' Sweet Tooth must have put it in that way so that everyone would think that the auction is selling Star Trek products. It rings a bell perfectly; everyone would easily be fooled! Does the flyer say anything else, Clank?"

"It also says that the most featured item this week is someone called Nathan Drake. Nathan is an expert archaeologist, so only Sweet Tooth would be crazy enough to sell him."

"That's ridiculous! It's like selling helpless little slave kids! Selling people is the most horrid thing that's been happening in all the galaxies, other than waging war!"

"Perhaps if we can save up a lot of money, we can buy Nathan and later steal back the money that Sweet Tooth receives."

"No," Ratchet realized. "I have a better idea. We're gonna play rescue mission!"**

*Ratchet's ship zoomed through the cosmos of the galaxy, heading for the planet Earth. Inside the ship were Raiden and Sly Cooper stuffed in the back where no seats were even there to sit on. But there was less room in the front where Clank sat next to Ratchet driving the ship. At least the front had size enough for Ratchet and Clank to sit.

"I can't even tell where we are," Sly said as he pushed Raiden's foot aside.

Ratchet checked his electronic map route to see their going. "We're only halfway there, I suppose."

I hope I know what Ratchet is doing, Clank thought to himself. If he ever gets dizzy during this mission, anything bad is liable to happen. I must keep him away from such drinks at all costs!**

*At where the heroes are heading for, the planet Earth floated, rotating on its axis, in the galaxy that those good guys are going for. And on this Earth, a lonely prison building stands in the city of Los Angeles, "the City of Angels." The building had a fence wrapped around in barbed wire and electric lines. And through the doors were the hall of prison cells, where Nathan Drake was placed in one of them. He had had it with the circumstance, being pulled out of his own time zone and placed into the present time.

At the prison office, Sweet Tooth had walked through the door with such frustration expressed on his demeanor. Sir Daniel Fortesque, a skeleton knight from the medieval times, looked up from the desk coated in cash.

"So did you talk to him?" Daniel wondered.

"Sorry. Heihachi Mishima wasn't there," confessed Sweet Tooth. "I looked all over the place where he was supposed to be. I probably should not have stopped at Ratchet's home planet to torture him along the way. It slowed me down too much, so I was out of time to make arrangements with Heihachi. He must have disappeared when I stopped at Veldin, so I was too late."

"Some people can be really dumb sometimes. Including us."

"But at least we're still lucky enough to have a desk covered in cold cash to stash."

"You got that right," Daniel said quietly to himself.

Nathan hated hearing what they were saying while he hung there in chains. He even hated going through the constant change of weather that always fell onto him. During the day, it was always hot and humid, sweat dripping from Nathan's head and the fear of getting heatstroke. And during the night, it was cold and windy, the breeze pelting Nathan's head and the fear of getting frostbitten. Nathan never liked the hardships he went through with how he suffered heavily. He wished that he would break out of this horrid prison and go join the outside world.**

*The ship made it to Earth, and Ratchet made a nice, soft landing. Everyone evacuated the cockpit and piled out onto the earthly ground.

"Oh thank God," Sly Cooper yelled out in satisfaction "We're done suffocating from the law of compression!"

Raiden gave his opinion: "You get used to it when it comes to stuffing yourself inside a robot and pulling out its electric coils. Believe it."

"I'll scan the area," said Clank, "using my special super-analyzing infra-red-light scanner." He turned on the light beams again and slowly turned his head to spot Sweet Tooth's prison building. A loud beeping noise came from the radio-sound signal built in to his head. It meant that he found something.

"What do you see," Ratchet asked.

"It's a bar with a clown head on it. Sweet Tooth must have put that up," Clank answered.

"Gosh dang it! This guy just doesn't give up! He's trying to pull me into this trap!"

Raiden spoke up after thinking for a moment: "That loud beeping noise sounded so ugly, as in spotting enemy activity. Sweet Tooth must be jamming your transmissions, Clank. He's trying to pull you away from our destination."

"I guess he is," Clank replied. "He must be hacking into my software system to cut off my senses. Now I can't analyze where Sweet Tooth's place is!"

"Don't worry, little dude," said Ratchet. "If you can't analyze where he is, then we'll do it physically. Come on, guys! The game's afoot!"

Ratchet, Clank, Raiden, and Sly ran off searching through the rough, damaged streets of Los Angeles, looking for the place where the villains' devilish deeds are. They did have to avoid passing cars and trucks in order to survive along their way. Until finally, "Look! There it is!" Sly spotted their destination, and everyone was ready to bring on the big, bad battle of the bad guys (and their bionic bots)!

Before the good guys dared to enter the building, Ratchet said to Clank: "Clank, listen to me. If there are any drugs in there, I swear to you and my parents that I shall be a loyal soldier and avoid the dang stuff. But what I'm trying to tell you is that there are still Sweet Bots that Sweet Tooth wants to unleash to fight us. So you need to shift to 'backpack mode' and I'll carry you to keep you safe."

"I guess I'm agreeing with you on this one," Clank said as he shifted himself. Ratchet strapped Clank's backpack straps onto his shoulders, carrying him on his back.

The front gate was wrapped around in barbed wire and electric coils. So Ratchet took out his "Metal Masher" gun and prepared to fire at the gate.

"Hold on to your pants, guys," Ratchet said with his fingers positioned to pull the trigger "This whole place is gonna vibrate!" He squeezed the trigger of his gun, and a blast of an energy ray exploded from the gun and burst down the gate. An explosion of electric lightning came from the coils wrapped around the metal gate, and very suddenly, the lightning disappeared instantly. "Come on, guys! Let's GO!" Ratchet led Raiden and Sly into the base where Sweet Tooth was actually not expecting them.

They stopped right at the moment when they stepped in the building. They saw that all of the prison cell doors looked exactly the same from each other. They had to peek through the window of each door to find Nathan Drake, but he was nowhere in sight.

"Look!" Raiden spotted something. "One of the doors looks different from all of the other ones. Perhaps it's where Nathan is held!"

Sly gave his opinion: "Or perhaps it's the jail office."

Ratchet agreed with Sly's saying. "Let's check that one out first!"

They slowly snuck over and peeked through the window of the door. And sure enough, it was the jail office. And Sweet Tooth was in there, of course, talking with Sir Daniel Fortesque while counting the money they had received for capturing Nathan. "It's all good," the good guys could hear them say; "I love it! Money! Dough! Jack! Moola! Cabbage! It's all here right in front of us!"

"That's them alright," Ratchet said quietly. "I'd give ANYTHING to kick those two out of the whole UNIVERSE. I'd rather be fighting Yoshimitsu instead of THOSE two."

Ratchet wished that he would have talked a little more quietly. Because pretty soon, a big garage door opened at the end of the hall, revealing ten Sweet Bots that have been shut down for recharge. Then a voice called out, saying: "SWEET BOTS! ATTACK!" The good trio already recognized the voice as Sweet Tooth's. The Sweet Bots activated, and they charged after the trio.

Ratchet was successful at taking down some of those Sweet Bots. He pulled out one of his old weapons known as "the Glove of Doom," put in on his hand like a regular glove, and began firing out high-energy bombs from it. It was a big success because the Sweet Bots were basically ice cream trucks transformed into machines of war and destruction.

Raiden got the hang of his maneuver, climbing into the driver's seat of the transformed cars and pulling out their steering wheels. The robots would malfunction and collapse down to the ground to explode.

Sly Cooper was able to finish off the rest of the Sweet Bots; basically by hopping into the driver's seat and using the steering wheel to control it to shoot down all the other bots.

The battle was won, but that was only round one of the test. Round two was about to begin.

Sweet Tooth stepped out of the office and saw the wreckage of his Sweet Bots that the trio had caused. "Ratchet, you've destroyed all my robots! That makes me very angry!"

Ratchet stepped up to Sweet Tooth and gave him a piece of his mind: "Sweet Tooth, you're going to be angrier once I eradicate you of your devilish scheme!"

"Well no matter. That just shows that I'm going to be victorious only in mere seconds!"

Raiden was confused. "That just does not make any sense whatsoever!"

"Come on, guys," Sweet Tooth taunted. "Catch me if you can!"

Raiden and Sly stepped forward, but that was a mistake made. Sweet Tooth made sure that they were on the correct floor tile so that he can pull a string hanging from the ceiling, and Raiden and Sly would be falling down the hole that a trapdoor. As they fell down, Raiden called out something to Ratchet at the last second: "FIND NATHAN!"

Ratchet heard what he said, and THAT he promised. But Clank unexpectedly jumped off of Ratchet's back and jumped down the trapdoor hole, following the others. I hope Clank knows what he's doing, he thought. I know that he'll buy me enough time to defeat Sweet Tooth and free Nathan! Now he was standing there, face-to-face with the killer clown Needles Kane. Sweat started pouring down Ratchet's head, a touch of fear had contaminated his heart, making it pound heavier and faster.

"I thought a hero had no fear," said Sweet Tooth. "And much fear I taste in you."

I shouldn't be scared, Ratchet thought. I'm on a mission to rescue Nathan Drake! I should be a very brave hero! But instead, here I stand, still some dizziness remaining inside of me. And it's all because of that stupid drink! My father does not hate me. Clank was right. And I think Clank made the best speech that ANYONE would want to hear! I should be out of the ground by now and onto the world of freedom!

"LET THERE BE FREEDOM!" Ratchet gave out his cry as he lunged with his big wrench towards Sweet Tooth, but Sweet Tooth blocked the blow with his big knife. The two of them fought to the death with the swings of their weapons. They thought that they were getting nowhere with this type of combat, but Sweet Tooth had actually gotten a lot of progress with his big knife. After about ten minutes, Ratchet had already gotten a black eye that suffocated from Sweet Tooth's big jabbing elbow.

Sweet Tooth let out a loud evil laughter, seeing Ratchet struggle to get back up from the ground. But it was no use. Ratchet's remaining dizziness refused to let him back up, and so there he stood, wondering why there was no drunk-driving problem while he was making his way to Earth.

Sweet Tooth had received his victory. "I… have defeated… the PERFECT opponent! I shall lock you up and make you suffer just as all the other prisoners suffered. Then I'll sell YOU in the upcoming auction!" Sweet Tooth laughed again.

"What am I going to do?" Ratchet thought that it was hopeless now. He was tired of being beat up too much because of his own folly. He thought that it was all his fault, and that he and Clank should not have separated. For a person standing alone might have been defeated. Ratchet knew that he himself was to blame for all the trouble.

"YOU?! You shall do NOTHING! After I sell every single one of my prisoners, I shall not take any more people as my slaves. I shall open up this year's 'Twisted Metal' competition, and the winner shall receive whatever his heart desires. And I myself shall compete! I shall shoot down and destroy animals. PEOPLE! I shall make mole hills out of mountains! And also, I shall destroy CITIES!" Sweet Tooth laughed once more, this time more quietly. "GUARDS! Escort Ratchet to 'Prison Cell #15!' I don't want him to have his revenge on me!"

Little clown minions came and dragged Ratchet to his new prison cell and chained him to the wall. "Good-night, lady," the minions taunted as they left Ratchet in the cold cell.

It was night time outside, so the bitter cold was flowing into the cell, leaving Ratchet suffering through so much pain. But he was not alone.

"I guess we're even now, eh?" Ratchet heard a wearisome voice talking to him. He stood up, looking around him until he found the person speaking. It was Nathan Drake.

"Nathan? They put me in here with you?"

"Yeah," Nathan replied. "Those sons of guns only want what they think they deserve."**

*Sweet Tooth burst through the door of the prison office, eager to spread the news with Sir Daniel Fortesque about Ratchet's capture.

"Good news, Daniel: we've captured that sneaky little pest Ratchet and we're gonna be in the moola now!"

Daniel looked down at the desk coated in money, not feeling up to doing victory dances right now. "I'll be right with you, Sweet Tooth."

"Is there something the matter, Daniel?"

"The only thing I could say is that I'm not that much of a prison guy. I really miss having adventures throughout the medieval times and doing what I please."

"Listen, bub: I miss killing people throughout all the 'Twisted Metal' contests that's being going on throughout the years. That's why I want to open up the next one once we have the money for it. Now go on. Be a good lad and get out all the posters and fliers, while I go and give Ratchet a lecture he'll never forget! He'll feel like he regretted listening to that no-good robot Clank's lecture."

"All in good time, Sweet Tooth. All in good time."**

*Back in Prison Cell #15, Ratchet and Nathan were about to receive cold air flowing through the dark and damp room. Until then, the door flung open, allowing Sweet Tooth to walk into the room and give Ratchet a "lecture" about being the free BAD guy.

"Hello fellow cowboys! It's nice to see you both suffering in chains, going through hardships that would lead to your death. But I don't want you to die too soon, because there are 'Star Trek' fans out there anxious to buy you." Sweet Tooth kneeled down to face Ratchet and gave him a "piece of advice:"

"Ratchet my dear, listen to me. For what I will say is true. You see, back then, when I was just a boy, I was just living the normal life doing the same old crap every day. Until one day, I saw that Calypso had opened his 'Twisted Metal' circus. Back then, it was a circus of performance and thrills. Calypso later changed it to a contest of fury and destruction. I always wanted to be a clown and join the circus, so I joined. I had to run away from home and leave my father behind; and the next thing I knew, he searched for me all around the country. But I never wanted to show myself, because I was through with him. He did not know that I was now the clown that the world calls Sweet Tooth. Eventually, throughout my career (which was about twenty years later), I became a little cuckoo from being a clown for so long. People started calling me a crazy and insane clown, also not liking the fact that I have a brown paper bag for a friend. But it ain't just a bag; it's Wacky Harold the Happy Lunch Sack. I loved that bag like a brother; it was useful for carrying my food and favorite candy, and for other things as well. One day, I lost it. I never knew how it disappeared from me, and I couldn't find it anywhere. The people thought that it served me right for being a freak. But I did not want to listen to them; nor did I want to listen to instructions coming from psychiatrists. Until one day, I escaped from their wrath to go join 'Twisted Metal' again. That's when I became known as the escaped mental patient. I liked how my life was going; and I still like it now.

"Then there was the time that Calypso completely changed Twisted Metal into a contest. And the winner of the contest would receive whatever his or her heart desires. I saw this as my chance to win back my little lunch sack, and I won. Calypso may have been confused at first, and asked: 'Are you serious? The brown paper bag? I can give you anything: power, money, fame! You dare insult ME!?' But I won the contest fair in square, and the bag was what I wanted. We drove off into the LA night happily ever after. But that got me nowhere; the people still hated me. So that's when I decided that I've had it with the human race. Even though I myself am a human, I'm more 90% clown. I won the next Twisted Metal contest, and I asked Calypso to grant me the wish of being a worm buried in the dirt, away from all who thought that I was crazy. 'I have agreed to grant a winner any prize that would be either size, shape, or in this case, matter,' Calypso said. Believe it or not, it worked! 'All he had to do is look up,' Calypso said, 'and dream of the day when he would crawl out of the dirt and back onto the world of man again."

Ratchet could not believe his ears. Sweet Tooth just mentioned about the situation of being in the dirt. And yet, he had to find out why Clank used that particular phrase. "Please tell me this is a joke," Ratchet begged.

"What joke?"

"What you just said! Is it really true that it actually happened?!"

"I think the question that you're looking for is: why did your little buddy Clank refer to my wish?"

"I can't believe that. Clank just went ahead and took something from what happened to you!"

"That's right, Ratchet! Can't you just feel the anguish!?"

"Unless Clank used it for a good reason. Maybe it's because that phrase is a good example for being caught in drunkenness. I thought that it would be a better way of life; and that was how I wanted it to be."

"Ah, I see what you mean. Although, I did want to be a human again so I can get back into Twisted Metal and take power and destruction to a whole new level. But before we go on, I must say one thing real quick: my father Charlie Kane joined Twisted Metal as well (driving his taxi cab Yellow Jacket), and his wish was to receive information about what happened to me. Calypso told him that I was actually Sweet Tooth, the great clown driver of the ice cream truck. He said that I was killed in action during the contest. My father was filled with sadness and anguish to find out that I was dead. But I wasn't dead at all; I was mortally wounded in battle. I recovered quickly to join the next contest and receive my lunch sack as my prize. And on the day that I became a worm, my father came back as the driver of the biggest killer ice cream truck called Dark Tooth. Apparently, he did not know that I had already won, so he scourged the streets of Hong Kong, China, trying to kill all the wounded contestants to have revenge for my death.

"And so, when I came back for the NEXT Twisted Metal contest, I asked Calypso to give me all the candy in the world. But instead, he made me have to go through a dentist surgery. 'You should have brushed in between snacks,' Calypso said. That made me angry, I hated that surgery, and I'll never forgive him! That may have been the first time he double-crossed me, but he's done worse fiddling around with other people's wishes and getting them all wrong. Finally, I decided that enough was enough! I finally took his ring of souls and overthrew him; I became the new host of Twisted Metal! But Calypso was not finished with me yet; he made his own car and entered in the contest, wishing for the ring of souls as his prize. But I wouldn't give it to him, yet he still tried to take it from me. And he said: 'but you should remember the rule: the winner receives anything that he desires! And so, what I want is the ring! Give it to me! It's MINE!' We fought over the dang thing until the souls escaped from the ring. It created a powerful explosion that burned off all of Calypso's hair, and deformed my head to make clown face a permanent part of me. That's when I became a FREE MAN! Free to be wicked, cruel, nasty, and evil! I loved it all! Unlike you, Ratchet, you're just a helpless little Lombax! Calypso may have come back for more, but that didn't stop me. And he won't stop me this time."

Nathan spoke up: "No. He may not stop you. But WE can."

Sweet Tooth stood up and pointed a gloved finger at Nathan. "Foul fool. What would you rather do: be a prisoner in a jail until you die, or be a servant in a nicer home after being bought?"

"We'd rather sacrifice ourselves to save our friends and end the conflict."

"You can rot in jail for all I care. But that's only your decision. Everyone must follow my commands, and I say you get sold. Because I just want my money! MONEY! It's what I love best!" Sweet Tooth danced his way out of the prison cell and laughed maniacally for victory.

Ratchet thought about it for a moment. Then he spoke: "Okay. I admit it: It's all my fault! I only want what I THINK I deserve. I thought that I deserved the good life, drinking something that was named after my father, until I came to the time where I felt free for the first time, or at least I thought I did. Perhaps I was still dizzy and was actually slowly recovering from my drowsiness. But I still remember the saying that Clank said to me last night: all you have to do is look up."

"That's what I've been doing ever since I was put in here. I've been looking out that window over there and enjoying the view of the stars."

Ratchet looked out that window and saw the pretty sight. For the first time in a long while, he felt better. The sight relaxed him again. His mind felt free; fear was leaving. It was all still now, and Ratchet felt calm. Clank may have been right about that phrase, and Ratchet found it useful (especially the part about looking up to find freedom).**

*Sweet Tooth and Sir Daniel Fortesque drove the evil ice cream truck around the streets of Los Angeles, putting up posters of the upcoming Twisted Metal competition and scaring away the kids who think they have ice cream.

"This will be so great," Sweet Tooth said in triumph. "We shall have the money once we sell Nathan and Ratchet. We'll have enough money to raise the funds of the Twisted Metal contest, and the two of us shall compete against each other."

"WHAT?!" Daniel Fortesque was confused about the news. He was wondering why Sweet Tooth would compete against him, until he thought of the idea. Sweet Tooth really wanted to destroy EVERYBODY in all of the realms so that he will be the supreme ruler of everything. Imagine! A Twisted Metal contest on every realm! Daniel thought to himself: I'm supposed to be a great warrior, yet I'm basically bones and shells. And if Sweet Tooth wants to play it THAT way, then I'm gonna have to say, this is the time where I strike back! "GIVE ME THAT WHEEL!" Daniel started grabbing the steering wheel of the truck and tried turning its course back to the jail building.

"What the heck are you doing?!" Sweet Tooth was already frustrated from Daniel being out of control. "Have you gone MAD?!"

"You shall know now! If that's the way you want to play dirty, then I shall go my own way from now on! I shall go and sell the prisoners myself so I can have all the money to myself. And I shall spend all of it ON MY OWN TERMS!"

"If you mess everything up, I swear to Pete…"

But Sweet Tooth could say no more about the situation after he felt a sudden crash. The truck stopped, Sweet Tooth and Daniel looked out the windshield window and saw a sudden view of thread and string sewn together. Once they looked close enough, they saw that the thread and string woven together was actually Sackboy grown fifty feet tall, smiling and laughing at his success at stopping the bad guys.

"Oh my gosh! IT'S SUCKBOY!" The Sweet Tooth exclaimed. No villain can ever take Sackboy seriously. They considered him as the video gamer's Elmo just because he looks cute and cuddly. But they all hated him, so they decided to nickname him "Suckboy," even hating how he's basically thread and yarn woven together into a doll with black buttons for eyes. But now that Sackboy had grown fifty feet tall, villains would be scared of him. Sweet Tooth really needed help from the man whom he tried to meet with, Heihachi Mishima. "Help! Heihachi! WHERE CAN HE BE!?" Sackboy was coming closer, and the villains started to panic even more. "Heihachi! Heihachi!" Sweet Tooth turned to push Daniel Fortesque out of the ice cream truck. "JUST GET OUT OF THE CAR!" By then, it was too late. Sackboy picked up the ice cream truck and let all the ice cream fall into his mouth.

Sweet Tooth ran for the nearest boat dock that was available, trying to make it to a boat and sail away. But Sackboy was faster, so he picked up Sweet Tooth and threw him through the sea, making him jump through the water like a rock skipping through water at a beach. Sweet Tooth tried calling Heihachi's name while being skipped through the water: "HEIHACHI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I!"

Somewhere along his journey through the water, Sweet Tooth finally landed himself in a boat with only one man in it. He got himself back up and saw that he landed in Heihachi's boat.

"Ah, Heihachi!" Sweet Tooth found Heihachi Mishima at last. "We meet at last! I want to ask for a little favor from you."

"Sorry, chum," Heihachi responded. "There's nothing I can do for you."

"What?! But-but I wanted to, eh, share my hard cash with you. I promise you, I shall make you the richest warrior that ever lived!"

"Money does not mean anything to me right now! I am already on a journey looking for my son! And if you've ever done anything to him…" Fire ignited on Heihachi's fists, ready to strike out at this grinning, insane piece of clown.

"I have not even met your son. Perhaps I can help you…"

"LIAR! Feel my fiery rage as I shall strike you to your death!" Heihachi swung his hands at Sweet Tooth, trying to set him on the hottest fire that ever burned.

Sweet Tooth was too focused on this situation, he forgot all about Sir Daniel Fortesque. In conclusion of him, Daniel left to go back to his own time. He figured that it was better off being there than making another roundup of prisoners. And Sweet Tooth was not at all lucky that day, being mistaken for killing Heihachi's son even though he did not. But things got worse from that point on. The sight of a bigger steamboat came to Sweet Tooth's attention as it was drifting towards them. "Sorry, Heihachi. But I've got a better thing to attend to!" Sweet Tooth picked up and stole Heihachi's mini anchor tied to a rope, swung it around like a lasso, and flung it to cling onto the bigger steamboat's rail. "So long, sucker!" He swung to the steamboat using the rope while the anchor held tight onto the boat's rail. Once he made it across, Sweet Tooth climbed onto the steamboat deck to meet the captain.

"Hello, Sweet Tooth," the captain spoke with greeting. Sweet Tooth was shocked to hear that familiar voice of his hated enemy.

"What?! It can't be…"

"Yes, it is, Sweet Tooth! I am Calypso! The creator of Twisted Metal! And YOU are nothing more than an idiot clown! Why did I even let you join my original circus?! I should have known that you would double-cross me!"

"Gee whiz, Calypso! Can't you understand!? All I want is what I want when I want it!"

"Sorry! I hardly believe that you would ever apologize. In the meantime, you're staying with me! I came here to open the next Twisted Metal competition and NO ONE will stop me! It is a sad thing to see Heihachi drift away from me and reject my offer, but you know what they say: first thing's first."

"Wait a minute! It was MY idea to open up the contest and ask for Heihachi's help!"

"Well now, it's MINE!"

Sweet Tooth cannot believe what Calypso was putting up with him. He screamed at the sky at the top of his lungs. Things were getting more worse for him on that day. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

*Raiden, Sly, and Clank ran over to where Sackboy stood. The three of them had finally escaped from the crappiest trap that Sweet Tooth had formulated (the trapdoor stupidly led to the basement, easy to get out).

"Hey, Sackboy," Sly called up to Sackboy to get his attention. Sackboy turned around and looked down at him, nodding his big head in response. "Quit eating all that ice cream and come help us out! We need you to do us a favor!"

"And do hurry," Clank chimed in. He really wanted to get his best friend Ratchet back unharmed.**

*Back at Ratchet and Nathan's prison cell, Ratchet was already asleep from being relaxed. He then woke up from the noise of a roof tearing off a building. When he looked up, he saw that Sackboy had ripped the roof off of the prison building. It meant that Ratchet and Nathan were truly free! In fact, EVERYONE in their prison cells was now free! All the prisoners started climbing out the giant hole of where the roof used to be and started running through the streets of Los Angeles, tearing down the Twisted Metal posters and burning them. They were all thankful also that the auction had never been open, so that nobody would ever be sold.

It is done, Ratchet thought to himself, everyone is crawling out of this dirty pit. Nathan is free, this prison is the dirt that he's been stuck in, he'd crawl out of this building and back onto his home again, just as I'LL make it out as well. I feel so happy now! I'll make it up to Clank!

Raiden jumped from Sackboy's giant head and into Ratchet and Nathan's prison cell. He took his sword and used the tip as a key to break the prisoner chains. Nathan was relieved to finally be out of those painful cuffs and to be down on the ground again.

Ratchet fully woke up after seeing the sight of Clank walking towards him with a happy smile.

"How could I ever thank you, Clank. You taught me the most valuable lesson that a Lombax would ever want to learn: you can never learn anything from a bottle." Ratchet had never been so happy in a long time.

"I never knew that ANYONE would be so happy about REAL freedom. My circuits are getting all tingly inside. I feel like I'm going to cry." Did Clank really mean it?

"Me too, pal. Me too."

Everything was going quite well, until Sackboy had unexpectedly shrunken down to his normal short size. He seemed a bit dizzy at first.

"Are you okay, Sackboy," Nathan asked.

Sackboy answered basically by doing some jolly dancing and humming music.

"I'm going to take that as a 'yes.'"**

*Later that same night, Ratchet landed the ship back on his home planet of Veldin, and everyone piled out.

"You were right about it being stuffy in there, Raiden," Nathan said.

"You get used to it, stranger boy," replied Raiden.

"By the way, where did Sweet Tooth go?"

"Wherever he is, we'll be ready for him!"

Ratchet took a good look around him throughout Veldin. A tear was shed through his eye. "I should never again disrespect this planet. It is my home, not a prison." And drunkenness IS a prison!

They then went to the bar that they were at last night. And when they went inside, Solid Snake was already shipping away all alcohol. "So your mission was a success, eh," he wondered. "Well, I'll be."

"And there were many lessons to be learned," Ratchet replied.

Snake stood on top of the bar counter with a bottle of orange fizz. "There are many lessons to be learned, and they require to be learned step-by-step. 'Slow and steady wins the race.' And that's what we, I mean you, have done today. You have taken the challenge step-by-step: learning the enemy's scheme, finding the enemy lines, fighting to gain the upper hand, being in prison, then breaking out. You have broken through slavery, being a slave to the life of a prisoner. And once you have broken out of prison, you have emerged out from the dirt that has buried you deeply. That's when you know that you are truly free. Every slave in the galaxy is tired of this hurting life, they swear to Pete. They just want to join the people who care about them, on the world of free men." Snake poured in a cup of orange fizz and raised it to give a toast. "And like all slaves say: 'LET THERE BE FREEDOM!'" But Snake probably should not have shouted too much, because right at that moment, he slipped off the bar counter and landed in a few dishes. Everyone looked behind the counter to see if he was alright, and Snake crawled up back onto the counter. "I was not drunk, just so you know."

Wowee! Ratchet thought to himself: Snake was crawling from behind the un-cleaned counter and back up to reunite with us: the friends who care about him. Wow! So many trends are coming in here and there!

Nathan wanted to ask something: "So, where exactly is all this beer being shipped to?"

"In a special place where NO one, not even Sweet Tooth, would want to take it," Snake replied.

"Well," Ratchet said to Raiden. "I guess everything is back to normal now, eh, Mr. Dundy?"

Raiden stuttered, everyone else laughed and knew the joke Ratchet pulled, calling Raiden "Mr. Dundy," as if it was a replay of that "Twilight Zone" episode of the dizzy Santa Claus mascot and the toy store owner Mr. Dundy. Everyone was thrilled, having a good time of their lives.**

*After their celebration, it was time to head back to the secret hideout. But Ratchet went the other way and instead and went over to a tree and sat down in the shade. He looked up at the dark clouds carrying the glamorous stars shining in the night sky and felt so relieved from all the pain that he suffered throughout the mission to rescue Nathan Drake.

Oh my, Ratchet thought, it's such a beautiful night, and everything feels at peace. Drinking can be the nastiest prison to be locked up in. I was able to emerge from being locked away in my own dizziness, and I broke free to be a REAL good guy.

Ratchet sat there, thinking of his father who never hated him. Only wanting what was best for Ratchet, his father would always remember him in his will. The two of them would remember each other until the end of time, and how to live the better life of being free. Before Ratchet dozed off to sleep, he quietly muttered the second half of that same "Lord of the Rings" rip-off song:

Rain may fall and wind may blow,

And many miles be still to go,

But under a tall tree I will lie,

And let the clouds go sailing by.

**This is the first of three stories (a trilogy!) in this series that I'm doing. Please keep your eyes open for the next one!**


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